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Moving on After Divorce: Embracing a New Chapter in Your Life


You might not ever have anticipated your joyous walk down the aisle ending in front of a judge at a divorce hearing, but life’s path often comes with twists, turns, and unexpected forks. Getting through the divorce process can be gut-wrenching, but the completion of the divorce does not have to be an ending. Instead, it can be the beginning of a new path forward. Many divorced individuals embrace their new opportunities in a transformative process where they find empowerment, unexpected resilience, and a new or rediscovered connection with their identity.

Gathering Support After the Divorce

Divorce is one of life’s most challenging transitions, but it’s far less daunting with a good support system in place. This is especially true if you have children. Counseling is always beneficial, but particularly after a divorce. It’s also helpful to join a support group. Many divorce support groups are cost-free and an effective way to air feelings, seek validation for emotions, and bond with others who face similar challenges. Contact our divorce lawyers in Fort Collins to learn more.

Gather your closest, most supportive family and friends, and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it, such as creating a backup plan for picking up children from school, or someone to fill gaps for childcare if you’re held up at work during your custody days.

Reconnect With Old Interests or Create New Ones

Nothing helps more with moving on than spending time on an interest that you put aside during the marriage. Reconnecting with an old hobby or developing a new one is the first step in the framework of a new, post-divorce you. Taking an interest in fitness, developing artistic talent, hiking, traveling, gardening, going back to grad school, or volunteering are all fantastic options for beginning a new life with interests that are yours alone rather than those of half of a couple. This helps you to embrace yourself as a whole person with interests all your own and builds self-confidence.

Set Guidelines for a New Relationship

It’s rarely a good idea to jump into a new relationship right after a divorce. Even if you don’t think it’s possible, it’s surprising how soon opportunities to begin a new romantic connection come up after divorce. It’s important to set guidelines for the new chapter in your life before someone new shows up. For instance, set aside a time period from six months to a year after your divorce to avoid anything more than an occasional casual date. Instead, take this time to work on developing yourself as a separate person and not half of a couple. Take it slowly once you begin dating, but don’t rule out another loving, committed relationship once you’ve restored your self-confidence and connection with your unique personality and interests.

Put Your Children First, But Don’t Neglect Yourself

Your children are always your highest priority. After a divorce, they need more care and reassurance than ever. Never talk badly about their other parent or use them as sounding boards for your new single status. Instead, reassure them that you are still a family and living in two separate households does not alter their relationship with either parent.

Remember, you are only able to be a rock for your children if you take care of yourself so you don’t crumble. Don’t neglect your self-care during this critical time so you can be the parent your children need.

Making the transition to sharing custody is difficult in the early days after divorce, but in many cases, shared parenting becomes an opportunity for time for self-reflection and reconnection with the person you were before you had children. This lends itself to you becoming a better, more self-confident parent and role model for your children. If you need help figuring out shared parenting plans with your children and ex-spouse, contact our child custody lawyers in Fort Collins today to figure out potential actions.

Move Forward on a Positive Path

Divorce doesn’t have to be a sad ending. It’s also the beginning of a new life chapter that’s still an open book. By determining to make it a positive experience of self-definition and personal growth, the next chapters will inevitably lead to something worth turning the pages for.

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