A new trend has been on the increase over the last two decades; an increase in “gray divorces,” which happen when people over the age of 50 file for divorce. More than 90 percent of the adult population gets married prior to turning 50, but between 40 and 50 percent of those couples do not make it to “’til death do us part.” Here are some of the top reasons couples decide to untie the matrimonial knot.
Erosion
Divorces aren’t generally the result of one isolated event. The dissolution of a marriage tends to happen slowly as the relationship cools and settles. The heat of romance fades, day-to-day life takes over, and the stresses of life begin to take their toll. Cracks form over time, eroding foundation in increments until the entire relationship begins to crumble. Factors that do this can include when one person feels neglected, a sense that one has sacrificed more for the sake of the unit, or fatigue from how much work one has put in on his or her own.
Age
Aging can change how a couple acts and feels toward each other. If their ages are different, changes happen at different points. People experience natural alterations to their brain chemistry. When this happens, some people have an urge to relive parts of their life or live them all over, but do things differently. They want to reboot, and leaving their spouse for someone younger accomplishes this.
Monotony
All couples experience some measure of monotony in their marriage, but some don’t figure out how to combat it. They distract themselves with work, the kids, or even another person. The spouse who has always been there often falls to the wayside, caught in a blind spot and only engaged when necessary.
Finances
Money can tear apart even the best marriage. Different life styles and habits can strain a budget, just as children become an even larger expense by going off to college. Credit card debt, mortgages, and other kinds of loans begin to mount up, leading to more strife. As the couple crosses into their 50s, the reasons they stay together begin to fall away in the stress of financial trouble.
Sex
Couples the world over experience differences in sexual desire. Age often exacerbates these differences – when one person experiences a peak in desire, the partner’s desire can often diminish. If a couple doesn’t put the time in to sustain the relationship as these differences grow, the desire may fade entirely. The allure of something better elsewhere may draw some people away from their partners, leading to extramarital affairs and feelings of betrayal.
The reasons for such a divorce are many, stemming from a variety of influences that, while common, act uniquely on each couple. People change, they lose interest in each other, or smaller issues become heavier burdens that neither wants to carry with the other. Regardless of age, some couples find that divorce is the best option for them. If that’s the case, discuss it with an experienced Fort Collins divorce attorney before making a rash decision.
