How Can You Stop Parental Alienation?

A divorce can have many ramifications for a family. One potential risk is the physical and emotional distance that may develop between you and your child if you do not have primary custody. Sadly, an ex-spouse may make the situation worse by speaking negatively about you in front of your child or spreading harmful lies when you are not there to defend yourself. Intentional efforts to damage or disrupt the relationship between a parent and child are known as parental alienation. Understanding how you can stop parental alienation is essential to protecting your relationship with your child. A family law attorney in Fort Collins can help you understand how parental alienation may affect your custody case and what legal remedies may be available.

What Is Parental Alienation?

Parental alienation occurs most often after a divorce, but it can begin when the two parents are still married. It describes one parent interfering with the child’s relationship with the other parent by speaking ill of the targeted parent. One parent planting seeds against the other during or after a marriage could come between the second parent’s relationship with the child. Both the targeted parent and the child can suffer negative consequences from parental alienation.

The Long-term Impacts of Parental Alienation

It has long been established by health and wellness experts that the best scenario for a child’s mental, emotional and psychological wellbeing after a divorce or separation is shared parenting. Continuing contact with both parents after a divorce is the healthiest arrangement for a child. When parental alienation ruins one parent’s relationship with the child, it is the child who suffers the most.

In the long term, parental alienation can significantly affect a child’s mental health. It can force the child to think negative or bad thoughts about the other parent, possibly leading to the hatred of the targeted parent and/or extended family members related to that parent. It could also impact the child’s understanding of love and self-worth, which could interfere with self-esteem, intimacy and relationships later in life. The degradation of a child’s relationship with one parent can lead to issues such as depression, anger issues, outbursts, problems in school and substance abuse.

Tips for Stopping Parental Alienation

If you notice the early signs of parental alienation, such as your child distancing him or herself from you, you can do things to stop your co-parent from driving a wedge further between you and your child. You can take steps on your own to forge a deeper bond or relationship with your child in spite of what your co-parent may be saying about you. If this does not work, you can contact a family attorney to discuss possible legal actions available to you.

• Remind your ex that he or she is hurting the child, not just you, with parental alienation.
• Do not retaliate against your ex-spouse by also badmouthing him or her.
• Make your main priority rebuilding your relationship with your child.
• Reach out to your child in writing in your own words, using letters or email.
• Call your child to talk as often as possible.
• Keep up with what’s going on in your child’s life.
• Attend your child’s shows or exhibitions, even if you sit in the back.
• Request more visits, even if they are shorter in duration.
• Keep documentation of how your ex-spouse is alienating you.
• Ask to see your child in writing if your ex is withholding visits.
• Remain persistent in rebuilding your relationship with your child.
• Try therapy and look for professional support during this tough time.

Parental alienation can become a form of child abuse in severe cases. If it threatens your child’s mental health or overall well-being, you can ask a judge to intervene. Fort Collins family law attorney Stephen Vertucci can help if your ex-spouse is intentionally attempting to damage your relationship with your child. Depending on the circumstances, he may help you request a custody modification, including increased parenting time or primary custody when the child’s safety or welfare is at risk. Speak with an attorney to learn more about the legal options available in your case.